In My Mind
by iwishiwherebellaswan
Summary: One Shot. As a birthday present, Bella promises to only tell Edward the truth and let him see into her mind for a day. Lemon. Rated M.
1. In My Mind

**I'm back at school next week so I will do my best to finish off my 12 Days of Christmas. My story Boxing may be update less frequently. I am hoping to get another story started soon though.**

 **-x-**

 **iwishiwherebellaswan**

 **xxx**

* * *

 **In My Mind**

 **One Shot. As a birthday present, Bella promises to only tell Edward the truth and let him see into her mind for a day. Lemon. Rated M.**

Summer was a great time. Vacation meant freedom. Especially to those who'd graduated their Senior year of High School. A new start in college was coming but there was a good two months before hand. Two hard-working students who were going to enjoy the time off where best friends, Bella and Edward. They'd been best friends for over a century and their parents were very close. Because of this they were often found at each other's houses for the night. Both sets of parents were regularly leaving the area for work and had to leave their child behind. It didn't bother either Bella or Edward as they enjoyed each other's company.

Of legal age, it had been agreed that both could stay at the Cullen household alone whilst Edward's parents were in Seattle for a medical convention. The only difference about the day was that it was his 19th birthday. It came as no surprise him that his parents weren't going to be there. They'd missed his 8th, 10, 11th, 14th 17th, 18th and now 19th birthday. He always woke up with a pile of presents waiting to be opened. Expensive presents was his parents idea of making it up to him. He had no care for them but his parents never listened to what he had to say.

When he awoke in the morning it was much like a normal day. He was alone in a silent house. He knew what was in a small pile downstairs. Honestly, he was a little disappointed that the pile was even smaller than any other year. In perspective though, he didn't really care that much. His best friend would be over before lunch and they'd spend the day together watching movies. He had stocked up on snacks and planned on raiding his parent's beer supply.

After showering and pulling on some yoga pants, he trapesed downstairs. Wanting to stay somewhat healthy during the day, he had a bowl of cereal and a rosy red apple. He started to open some of the softer of presents. Boxers, socks, a jumper and jeans. His parents always struggled when buying for their son. They usually ended up with the generic presents with a few very expensive ones thrown in.

Lying on the couch, he flicked through the programs on the television. He could hear the front door open and close quite quietly before light footsteps coming towards him. With her hands behind her back in an attempt to conceal the large box, his best friend crept into the room.

"Happy Birthday Edward."

She pulled the box round her side and held it out in front of her in offering. The favourite crooked grin made an appearance on his face as he stood up. Taking the box from her hands, he pecked her cheek in thanks. Sitting criss-cross apple sauce opposite each other on the couch, the delicately wrapped present sat between them. He glanced up at her before slowly peeling away the gold-speckled blue wrapping paper. Below was a standard cardboard box. Opening the flap lids, he looked into the box. Surprise and glee was evident when he saw the next wool blend bomber jacket. He lifted it up only to be shocked by what was underneath. A matching pair of hiker-style converse sneaker boot was resting on top of what looked to be some kind of quilt. Placing the much desired items to one side, he lifted the soft, hand-stitched quilt. He recognised the materials used.

"I love it Bella. Thank you so much."

He pushed the empty box to the side and threw his arms around her neck. When he pulled away, he unfolded the quilt and spread it out over their laps. It was an amalgamation of t-shirts from all the places they'd been on vacation together. They'd decided that they'd buy each other the same t-shirt as a souvenir.

"These are my t-shirts and I was hoping that you'd let me have yours to make a matching quilt for me. I thought they were a nice idea for when we go to college for on our beds."

"Of course you can have mine Bella. It's a great idea. You know I'm gonna miss you when we'll be in different dorms next year. This will certainly make me feel more at home."

For the next hour they recounted their adventures that resulted in the t-shirts being bought, the expensive luxuries forgotten. Smiles on both their faces, she leaned against his side, their fingers tangled together between them. She passed him an envelope with his birthday card inside. It was just a generic card with 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' on the front. What was inside was what counted. He opened it up and read aloud what was written.

"'You've always wanted to know what I am thinking. For the day I will tell you everything I am thinking when you want to know. Ask me any time and I'll tell the truth. Love you Bella.'"

He turned to his best friend and gave her a questioning look. She brought his hand to her lips and curled her legs up under herself. Their eyes locked, neither able to look away. Leaning forwards, he lowered his head so much so that she could taste his breath on her tongue. There was a thought in her mind that he may actually kiss her.

"What are you thinking Bella?"

She could feel her heart beating incredibly fast in her chest. This present for him was in hopes of him finding out the truth. All she needed now was the bravery to make him see.

"I don't know. It's all jumbled up."

Smiling, he slowly pressed his lips to the side of her jaw. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and stared into her eyes again.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are Bella?"

Warmth filled her causing her cheeks to become rosy red. She shook her head, no, in response. He frowned, upset with himself for not spotting it before.

"You are beautiful Bella."

She lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. For a moment, just a miniscule moment, she imagined that this was how it was going to be when he found out. He watched her curl into his side, her chest rising and falling. It was the first time he really looked at her. Her body was slender with petite curves in all the right places. There was no shame within him as he admired her breasts. Whilst she was wearing a pair of yoga pants, similar to his, and a baggy football jersey, she'd never seemed so feminine. He could feel a slight problem arousing in his pants. Embarrassment clouded his mind as he slowly stood. She frowned and watched him move to the door.

"I'll be back in a minute. Bathroom."

His explanation was simple yet effective. There was nothing suspicious about it. Disappearing down the hall to the bathroom, he breathed deeply in an attempt to calm down. He splashed some cold water on his face and forced the depressing thoughts of dead puppies. It worked well enough. Flushing the toilet, he returned to the living room eagerly. Bella had put his favourite movie into the TV, waiting for him to come back.

"This is from my parents."

Whilst he sat down, she handed him another envelope. Her mother had been very keen on insisting that she made certain Edward would open the card. Peeling the flap open, he pulled a majestic gold-coloured card out with a soft 'Happy Birthday' and detailed engraving of a tree and boy sitting underneath. She leaned into his side as he angled the card away from her prying eyes. He opened it and slowly read the inside. Taken aback by what he read, he stood hastily and turned his back on her. This immediately heightened her interest in the card so she jumped up by his side. Hanging off his arm, she caught a glimpse of the writing. Pieces attached in her mind and she grabbed the card from his hands.

"'We will buy you a house if you marry Isabella?' What the fuck? Where has this come from? What gives them the right to do this?"

"Bella calm down."

He took hold of her wrists and stared her in the eyes. Taking the card and throwing it over his shoulder, he pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist. Shock. He was in shock over what he'd read. There had been the briefest of moments when he considered being married to his best friend. It wasn't such a bad idea. The thought left as quickly as it came as he realised how ridiculous the idea was. Sitting her down, he held her to his side and played with a strand of her hair.

"Let's just get on with the day. It's my birthday and I don't care what you're parents are trying to do. I don't need them to buy me a house because I can buy my own house. We are both rich Bella. Money and expensive presents don't have any meaning to me. Your quilt and your openness are the best presents I have ever been given. Don't worry about it. I just want to watch a couple of movies with my best friend."

"Okay. I should point out that it is lunchtime though. You want me to get you some food?"

Pecking her forehead, he didn't stop her from standing up. However, as she did stand he caught an eyeful down her top making his problem arise again. In an attempt of concealing his soldier he pulled his legs up to his chest. Once she left the room, he returned to thinking about dead puppies. He wouldn't let Bella find out what she was doing to him. It would ruin their friendship. Having calmed down just in time for Bella's return, he patted the space beside him. She placed a plate of salad on his lap and handed him a beer. Sitting down with her own salad, she pressed play on the remote and sat back. He took a swig of the beer only to have the can grabbed by his best friend. Frowning, he batted his eyelashes until she gave in and gave it back to him. They ate their food before clearing away the plates and cuddling up under the new quilt together. Her eyes were intent on watching the movie as his lingered. Normally he wouldn't be able to look away but something had changed. His eyes seemed to stay on the girl in his arms and her body. The problem from earlier on had returned. The only difference was that there was no escaping to sort himself out. This was the first time that he was affected by his best friend in this way. Or at least the first time he noticed something different. Lifting the leg between them, he watched her eyes flick to him and back to the screen.

"What are you thinking about?"

"What part of Hercules is making you hard."

His eyes widened as his problem had been announced. He moved his arm from around her shoulders and shifted away from her.

"Or maybe it's not the movie?"

"What do you think it could be then?"

"A girl."

Raising his eyebrows, he watched her smile up at him deviously.

"When have I ever shown an interest in anyone?"

"Well you are now."

She closed her eyes and hummed in thought, making him intrigued. Taking her hand in his, he prompted her to tell him what she was thinking.

"I was wondering whether you wanted me to give you a blowjob."

Having leaned forwards, she was giving him a look down her loose jersey. He loved this. The small glance from earlier hadn't done her justice. He hadn't had the chance to see her see-through lace bra. Groaning, he bit on his bottom lip to muffle it.

"It's your birthday Edward and I don't mind. If you're uncomfortable sitting here hard then I want to do something about it."

"So you think that giving me a blowjob would help?"

She nodded her head as she dropped to the floor and knelt between his legs. Pulling at the top of his yoga pants, she slowly helped his length escape its confines.

"It's no problem Edward. I'm happy to do this for you."

Holding onto him, she ran her thumb over his tip. His head dropped backwards, resting against the top of the cushions. Leaning forwards, she pecked a kiss to his tip before surrounding him with her lips. A loud groan echoed around the room as she squeezed him. Moans and groans continued to fall from his lips whilst she sucked him roughly. Even though he was long and thick, she managed to deep throat all of him. Scraping her teeth along him every now and then heightened the pleasure coursing through him tenfold. He quivered and shook in her mouth before grunting his release. Bella ran her tongue round and round him, slowly swallowing all of his cum. As she pulled off him, a mixture of her saliva and his cum made a slight popping sound. She curled into his side on the couch again and started to lightly stroke his limp, damp cock. Licking around her lips, she wanted to taste him as long as she could. Underneath her touch, she could feel him hardening again.

"You are very eager aren't you little Eddie? Any time you want some attention just let me know and I'll help you out."

Bowing her head, she pecked his tip which resulted in him springing up hard and rigid. With her hand wrapped around his cock, her thumb ran around his sensitive tip driving him crazy. He could barely think straight. His eyes had been closed ever since she had first laid her hands on his length. Head still tipped back, too heavy for his neck, he loved every minute of her touch. It wasn't what he wanted anymore though. He wanted more.

"Bella. God Bella. If I were to ask you if you wanted to have sex, what would you say?"

"I thought you'd never ask Edward."

Wrapping her arm around his neck, she lay back, pulling him over her. Her hand pushed his pants off his ass and down his legs. He managed to kick them off before his lips found her throat. Whilst he was naked over her, she felt very over-dressed. Her fingers wound into the hem of her jersey and she pulled it upwards. Forcing his lips to break from her skin, he frowned. The rewards though were greater. Body on display to him, she pulled at the hairband in her hair. With her hair now around her face and neck, she arched her back of the couch. His lips had descended to her chest between her plump breasts. Neither had been in any form of sexual contact with another person. Teenagers being teenagers, masturbation had come into play at certain points. They each knew what their bodies liked but still had a lot to learn. Edward's lips tilted to the side and slid along her smooth skin to her lingerie covered boob. He opened his mouth wide and engulfed her breast. She lifted her fingers into his hair and massaged his head. Rocking her hips up, they both moaned when her core hit against his achingly hard cock.

"I need to be naked Edward. Now."

She gritted her teeth as hear pulsed from her. She needed skin on skin contact. Immediately his fingers were round her back and ripping at her bra straps. Unable to unclip her bra, he used his strength to rip the material into pieces. The destroyed bra collapsed from her body and fell to the floor. Disappointment clouded his face as he looked at it. Her fingers brought his face in front of hers.

"I have plenty more. I'll give you a fashion show later if you want."

"Fuck yes Bella."

Staring down at her body, he took in her perky nipples and bulbous boobs. Pinching her tight nipples, she cried out in pleasure. He descended to her breasts and took the left into his mouth. With gentle, loving kisses he worked on caressing her body whilst his other hand palmed her other boob. His free hand slid down her flat stomach to the waistband of her yoga pants. Not hesitating, he slid them off her body quickly. Tilting his head forwards, he caught sight of the matching panties to the shredded bra. There was little point in keeping the panties in one piece. He wanted to play a game first though. It was his birthday after all. Sitting up straight, she was forced to drop her hands from his hair. He hooked his fingers in the sides of her panties but didn't move them.

"Is this my next birthday present? Wrapped up tightly with some silky lace. I must say, it looks so perfectly wrapped. Smooth too."

He stroked the length of her panties which made her moan loudly. Cupping her, he used his thumb to wind small circles over her covered clitoris.

"I hope that I'm going to get some good use out of this present."

"Yes. Any time. It's all yours Edward."

"It sure is."

Ripping at the sides of her panties, he tossed them over his shoulders. What lay hidden beneath was her smooth bare sex. He stroked her fanny gently and dropped to the floor beside her. She leaned up on her elbows, watching what he was doing. Carefully holding her thighs, he turned her round so that his head was nestled between her legs. Her back was resting against the back of the couch and her hands held onto his head. Dipping his head, he took her clit between his lips and sucked softly. Tensed fingers, Bella rolled her head backwards. Slowly, enjoying every moment, he pleasured her with every move he made. Lifting her legs over his shoulders, she locked her feet together to prevent any movement away from where she needed him most. Her chest was heaving as she moaned. Hot cum seeped from her only for Edward's tongue to lap it all up. A rumble of a moan sounded from his chest. He'd never tasted anything like it before and didn't want to stop. As she dried out, he manically kissed, sucked and tongue-fucked her. When he realised that there was little for him to taste left, he nipped at her skin as he dropped her legs off his shoulders.

"Edward…"

The breathless voice of Bella calmed him down a little. She combed through his tousled hair whilst his lips sucked her neck.

"Edward… I'm gonna give you another blowjob Edward. It's your birthday babe."

He frowned slightly as his hand came up to rub circles against her boob.

"You are amazing Bella."

She pushed against his shoulders until he was standing up. Dropping to her knees in front of him, she took hold of his erect cock in a firm grip. With her free hand playing with his balls, she lightly blew over his tip. His fingers gripped her hair in an attempt to pull her head over his length.

"This is all for you babe. You can control everything. If you want me to suck your big juicy cock harder, tell me. I'll do anything you tell me to do Edward. Little Eddie I'm talking to you now. I'm going to take good care of you. Just relax because you are going to give a lot of pleasure."

Stroking him a few more times, she stuck her tongue out a little way and licked around his sensitive tip. Both her hands continuously played with his balls as he guided her head around him. She kept her throat slack so that he could control her movements. His hands pulled her head up and down him, his hips thrusting lightly at first. As he groaned, he thrust faster and harder. The vibrations of her small moans only made him moan louder. With so many of his senses going into over drive, it didn't take long before his cum shot into her mouth. He let her take control as she swallowed all of his hot cum. Pulling off him, she stood up. He pushed her hair behind her ears and cupped her cheeks. There was no hesitation on his part as he kissed her lips. Whilst both had been naked for a while, they had yet to kiss. Their lips moved together. Passion. Lust. Two simple words plagued their every thoughts. Lifting her up, he lay her down on the couch. Not once did their lips break contact. He nestled his knees between her bent legs, his hands supporting him. As their lips battled for dominance, he led himself to her entrance. She moaned into the kiss because of his length rubbing against her slit. Leaning onto his elbows, he pushed deep inside her. Not realising that he'd shattered a barrier, he froze in shock. Mouth wide open and her body recoiled in pain; a few tears ran down her cheeks.

"God. Bella I'm so sorry. Shit. I didn't mean to. God, I didn't know you were a virgin. I should have asked."

Deep breaths in and out helped her calm down. He held as still as possible whilst playing with her hair, trying to distract her a little. She placed her hand on the back of his head. Tangling her fingers round his hair, she soothed him. Whilst he'd been pecking her throat, he hovered over her face.

"It's okay Edward. I wanted you to be the one to take my virginity. I should have told you though. I'm alright now though. It was obvious this would happen eventually anyway."

Pulling at his hair, she shifted her hips a little. Both moaned loudly.

"I'll tell you what babe. You give me this now and I'll give you a blowjob whenever you want. Just give me a booty call. I'm more than willing to suck you off anytime."

Crooked grin, closed eyes and head dropped forward, he reminisced when she was on her knees in front of him. He didn't want to make her think him controlling.

"You don't need to do that Bella. Don't ever think that you need to do anything for me. You owe me nothing."

"I want to do this for you Edward. I loved sucking you off. You loved it too; my lips around your big juicy cock. First, you need to pump me with that fucking cock of yours."

He began to nip at her collarbone as he pulled out of her. Pushing straight back into her, the breath left her lips in a large gust. With his body lowered against hers, every time he thrust into her his pelvis slid along hers. He was too long to completely fit inside of her but it didn't matter. The bottom of his penis rubbed at her uncovered clit. Arching her back again, she slowly tempted his head down to her boobs. Only too willing to comply, he started to suck and bite her nipple whilst his hand palmed her other roughly. There was so much going on for the both of them that neither could think straight. He moved in an aggressive way but it didn't hurt. Whatever he did only made the experience so much more enjoyable for both. Pumping inside of her by pulling all the way out before sliding all the way back in, he sped up very quickly. His elbows back beside her head, he left her body alone as he grunted again and again and again. Focusing on her tight pussy that he was pounding into, he was desperate for the release he knew was coming. He knew that Bella's release was coming. He could feel her muscles tensing and loosening around him resulting in him being pulled in further. Teetering on the edge, she lifted her hips off the couch only to completely shatter around him. She moaned as she rocked her hips upwards, pushing him over the precarious edge. Their hot cum mixed together. Both were seeing fireworks. Neither had ever felt this way before and needed the euphoria to never end. Burying himself deep inside her, they rode out the pleasure coursing through them for five minutes solid. Exhausted, he cautiously pulled out of her and collapsed beside her. They lay, catching their breath. On his side, he placed his hand on her breast. Turning her head to the side, looking him in the eye, she smiled softly.

"If I buy an apartment for College, would you live with me? I have looked at a couple apartments and small houses. There was a nice two bedroom house that I saw that I'd like you to live in with me. I know that the end of High School is supposed to have goodbyes but I can't say goodbye to you. I love you Bella. It would be nice to call you my wife but I'm too young and we haven't had that sort of relationship yet. That doesn't mean that we won't ever get married if you want to. Let's just start with living together. You're my best friend and I can't lose you."

She loved how nervous and cute he looked. She also loved his hand on her boob. She had loved him for a long time but had been too scared to admit it. She had drooled over his body many times. She had imagined him naked several times and it would distract her all the time. She had planned grand ways of telling him of her love. She had never carried through with her plans because of his constant reminders of them being best friends. It didn't matter now though.

"When you say two bedrooms? I hope that I won't be alone in a room. There must be one bedroom that is at least a double bed."

"King sized actually."

Trailing her hand over his chest, she cuddled closer to him.

"Wouldn't you be quite lonely all by yourself in that big bed?"

"I hope not if my girlfriend is with me every night."

She frowned at first, contemplating what he'd said. When realisation hit her smack in the face she grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"Girlfriend?"

"You know you are Bella."

He leaned over her and brought his lips to hers. In a heat of passion and love, he pushed her to the brink of pleasure. Just before she fell asleep that night, he whispered in her ear.

"Best birthday ever."


	2. Hey Guys This is important

**Hey Guys,**

I don't know whether I have the right to say anything as this does not effect me directly but I felt the need to.

This last weekend has been so tragic. First with the killing of one of my favourite YouTubers, Christina Grimmie and then with the massacre in the Pulse gay bar. My heart goes out to all affected in both instances, especially those who were in the vicinity of the events.

From what I've heard on the news, there have been many **hero's.**

Marcus Grimmie put his own life at risk by tackling the man, after he'd shot several times at the beautiful young woman, **Christina Grimmie**. He saved many lives that were at risk around them out of the love for his sister. I don't think that anyone will ever understand the love between the brother and sister no matter how hard people try. We can only be there to offer condolences and support in a time need. Player 2 lives on in our hearts.

And then there is the hero's in the Pulse club that did what they could to save the lives of people around them whilst putting themselves at risk. Ex-militant bouncer, Imran Yousuf, saved dozens of people by opening the back door and letting them out. He waited until he could no longer get anyone else out. Whilst he could not save everyone, his actions were heroic. If any good can come from this event, I hope that it raises awareness for the **LGBTQ+** community and I hope that action will be taken to prevent this from happening again.

I cannot wrap my head around either events. The world can be a crazy place but to kill people in cold blood just doesn't make sense to me. I've thought carefully about what I want to say and prepared a few words that I believe need to be heard.

 **It is not what we should have done; it is what we will do next. How many more must lose their lives before the world can come to peace with one another? Everyone is created equal. Their decisions in life do not make them inferior to those around them. Nothing will make them inferior as they fight against this. Lives are meant to be lived, not cut down.**

 **We look to the nation to stand together against this. But we look to the world for support in fighting this cause. There are some things that we cannot do alone. As a nation we stand strong, as a planet we prosper.**

 **-x-**

 **iwishiwherebellaswan**

 **xxx**


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